Special bits and the gathering future...

Blog silence

Papí took some time to adjust his schedule. The nightly blogging just did not work well in the present. The boy is looking to have everyone present and accounted for in the sleeping chamber.
Our current arrangements of living quarter makes us sleep all together. Even while the boy will obtain his first crib we will all be together, so moving in and out of the room will not work mostly. No real complaint about that. Papí will embrace this opportunity to sleep earlier.

However, in consequence of this no more blogging sessions beginning at eleven o'clock. That by way of explanation of the blog silence over the last week or so.

Now, papí's writing chops permitting, we blog in the early morning. That time of day the sun peeks in on the workstation and papí can look around the room all bathed in golden light. Considering that I will need to strip away the dreamy cobwebs and regain memories of the past day(s), chai may enter into the proceedings.

The baby's progress

The boy tunes in closely with papí these days.

The other day, we drove to a physical therapy session (re: papí's shoulder) and though the boy arrived newly fed and changed, the session and all the chit chat regarding papí's daily rehab work took over an hour and a half. After the session forms remained to fill out, so that all started to reach into the next feeding and certainly a change became necessary.

The boy is polite. He will make some small gestures when he needs 'service.' Similarly to the way one might lift a hand or a finger at a restaurant to gather the attention of the server, the boy will make some perfunctory movements that indicate discomfort, and he will vocalize quietly to accompany.

His vocal range runs from little coos through an interesting little moan (back of the throat: uhhhhhhh) and on to yips, yelps, and on to exasperated gasps and frustrated groans. He also owns a little squeal reserved for when he becomes tired. Lately he also launches on 'talking' sessions that go on for a time, but they are not communicating need so much as they seem to arise out of the wish to share something.

He spends time in his 'talking' experimenting with sounds that come out according to what his tongue or lips do. He does a raspberry, and he does a slobber-buzz (very wet), along with some lightly throaty sounds. The essential message from these: Joy.

In the physical therapy office, the message went away from joy for a while, and more towards discomfort. He shifted in his seat as papí worked to learn how to do the simple exercises, and soon he yelped his demand for attention.

I knew what to do, but we took some little time to get there. As I filled out the papers the boy resided in the crook of my arm, though he shifted and kvetched most all the while. I changed him, yet he also needed feeding. When he reaches 'combo-need' mode, the experience can be like a white-water raft experience. Just as you clear one eddy over a huge rock, another gapes before you on an even larger rock.

The major issue arises from the way papí's morning appointments play havoc with the boy's long morning nap. He loves to spend the morning splayed on the bed in celestial contemplation.

This havoc enters into his feelings about anything else that he might miss in the current situation. In the office, he missed food most of all at that moment. I finished the paperwork with the child scrambling about in my arms, and we made a beeline for the car, where papí sits in the backseat to feed the baby in his car seat. The car seat faces the rear, so that papí may sit in a normal fashion and attend to the baby's comfort in comfort of his own. This arrangement allows papí to wipe with one hand and feed with another. It is important to me to have the baby eating consistently and to not have to break the 'mood' by dropping the bottle and grabbing a towel...

By the time I got to feeding him his mood, fed by his tired humor, collected a negative momentum and a bout of fussiness spilled out. He alternately and in conjunction cried and stomped his feet and waggled his head to and fro making roaring noises.

All of the carrying on caught the eye of papí and reminded him of a little ritual, or of a comical act. Not to make too light of it, but I really could not help myself when a deep belly laugh escaped me and startled the boy.

At first, his little eyes gave a round, blank look of surprise, then the eyes flattened with the smile on his little face, and he chuckled along with papí for a time. Of course, one good laugh gets another, so another hearty belly laugh arose as papí's natural reaction. The boy responded, and there we were in the vehicle, laughing our cares away.

His mood dissipated and he became calm and carefree. The better to feed and be happy.

The future's bearing

For some time now papí made some preparations for school in the coming Fall. Now with the impending schedule (I registered for classes and soon will attend) there are serious questions about the arrangements for the boy during this period of time. Papí's professional growth and progress demand this major step in the right direction, but the schedule keeps both papí and Mrs papí away from the boy for twelve hour days for at least two days per week.

Of course, Mrs papí has some assurance that her mother will help out, but the woman is 60+ years old. Is this not asking too much? Papí wonders whether the true dimensions of the situation do not remain clouded by wishful thinking on Mrs papí's part?

For one thing, the only 'conversation' about this arrangement came in passing. When Mrs papí's mother offered to watch the child. Now, papí finds this kind of an offer could easily mean 'a couple of hours time' much more easily than it could mean 'week in and week out for twelve hour stretches.' Those stretches include much self denial and I only want all parties to know what their putting themselves in for.

This kind of knowledge allows papí to put his heart and soul into putting together a career change with the kind of purpose and attention that endeavor deserves. I believe the arrangement may work, but I also believe there are many more pitfalls that ought not to arise in the course of this juxtaposition of duty to duty.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but assurances and agreements must attend this little life that needs so much attention. When one puts in to live the day long with a child the demand seems constant even when the child sleeps.

Given that Mrs papí's mother is more 'motherly' than papí, perhaps my misgivings arise misplaced. I am mostly concerned with the idea that an offer in passing goes to Mrs papí's understanding as an offer for roughly 36 hours of baby care in a three day period!

Let's not fool ourselves here people. Let us calmly sort out our qualms and seek to lay a fine road to our better future time. The baby lives in joy and in the present. Let us sustain that joy.